Weather is warming, Punxsutawney Phil was wrong about his shadow, and March is less than a week away. No time like late February for a less courageous College Basketball Preview.

Several Cats, Dogs, Mammals, Seafarers, Birds, Folklorean, Human, and Farmers have emerged as true titans of the sport this season. Thunderous dunks and drained threes from the entire animal kingdom will be celebrated by the team at Comedy Crow.

It is shaping up to be a strong year for the cat nickname group, as Auburn has maintained 1 overall status since December. The Land & Sea category looks to have its best year ever, as the SEC’s dominance in Bama and Florida, strong weather teams Iowa State and St Johns, and a fiesty Terrapins crab five brings depth and upside.

The folk group is strong as usual at the top with Duke, Tennessee, and Michigan State. Some fringe names like UNC and Wake Forest will determine whether or not Folk has a chance to put up game changing points.

Early projected counts:

**Group****Cats (14)**Dogs **(5)**Folk **(9)****Birds (8)**Land/Sea **(8)****Humans (8)**Mammals **(7)****Farm (5)**1Auburn TigersUConn HuskiesDuke Blue DevilsMarquette Golden EaglesAlabama Crimson TidePurdue BoilermakersWisconsin BadgersTexas A&M Aggies2Houston CougarsMississippi State BulldogsTennessee VolunteersKansas JayhawksFlorida GatorsIllinois Fighting IlliniMichigan WolverinesTexas Longhorns3Kentucky WildcatsGonzaga BulldogsMichigan State SpartansLouisville CardinalsIowa State CyclonesSt Mary’s GaelsUCLA BruinsUtah State Aggies4Missouri TigersDrake BulldogsWake Forest Demon DeconsOregon DucksSt Johns Red StormOle Miss RebelsBaylor BearsMcNeese Cowboys5Arizona WildcatsYale BulldogsNorth Carolina Tar HeelsCreighton BluejaysTexas Tech Red RaidersOklahoma SoonersVirginia Commonwealth RamsOmaha Mavericks6BYU CougarsSan Diego State AztecsJacksonville State GamecocksMaryland TerrapinsWest Virginia MountaineersLipscomb Bison7Clemson TigersOhio State BuckeyesChattanooga MocsVanderbilt CommodoresGeorge Mason PatriotsArkansas Razorbacks8Memphis TigersNorfolk State SpartansSE Missouri State RedhawksCleveland State VikingsAkron Zips9High Point PantersCentral CT Blue Devils10Towson Tigers11South Alabama Jaguars12Montana Bobcats13Quinnipiac Bobcats14Southern Jaguars

Projected Groupings:

• Cat - 14

• Dog - 5

• Folk - 9

• Farm - 5

• Mammals - 7

• Sea - 8

• Humans - 8

• Birds 8

Some loose strengths and limitations, mostly with last year’s teams but still some relevant overlap.

Group 1: CATS (14)

Auburn, Clemson, Missouri, Grambling State Tigers **

Strengths: large, orange, sometimes named Tony

Limitations: Water, tuna, Frosted flakes

Houston ** BYU Cougars

Strengths: still looking great in her old age

Limitations: traumatic ruining of Homeward Bound

**Arizona, Kentucky Wildcats **

Strengths: Unpredictable nature at that size certain to cause damage

Limitations: wild card life not for everyone

Montana State Bobcats (16)

Strengths: Bob and Cat ideal names for singer songwriters

Limitations: Mostly known for construction prowess

Group 2: DOGS (5)

**Connecticut Huskies **

Strengths: Conflicting priorities with Iditarod race still going on

Limitations: Wolves call them soft

Gonzaga, Mississippi State, Drake, Yale, Samford Bulldogs**

strengths: Goofy facial expressions make for a good pet

limitations: Bulldogs, like these team’s lineups, are mostly white

New Mexico Lobos

Strengths: Lobo was the leader of the pack of wolves that dominated the Currumpaw River Valley of northeastern New Mexico in the early 1890s.

Limitations: what have you done lately, Lobo?

Group 3: HIGHLY COMPETENT WILDERNESS MAMMALS (7)

**Baylor Bears  **

Strengths: intimating size, prolific back-scratcher, strong right and left hook Limitations: daylight savings a long transition for this crew **

**Wisconsin Badgers **!

Strengths: best player named Chucky

Limitations: head in the dirt searching for worms. mistaken for skunks

Colorado Buffaloes

strengths: Great sauce and chicken dip. Guy on a buffalo

limitations: Weird bdubs commercial with sauce gardner. Hard to dribble with hooves and big upper body.

***Colorado State Rams

Strengths: head-butts, Al Green Song

Limitations: still kinda sheep-like. no Aaron Donald on this team either

Grand Canyon Antelopes

Strengths: you have to run like an antelope, out of control

Limitations: more prancing and dancing than physical prowess

Akron Zips

Strengths: Hopping, kangaroo kicks, zipper making

Limitations: weighed down by the baby

South Dakota State Jackrabbits

Strengths: Rabbits named Jack are more successful

Limitations: Turtle nemesis shocked confidence

Oakland Golden Grizzlies

Strengths: Back scratching, hibernation

Limitations: Golden Grahams much tastier

***Howard Bison

Strengths: rolling with the herd, stampedes, taking out Mufasa

Limitations: excellent in burger form

Group 4: WISE BIRDS (8)

**Kansas Jayhawks  **

strengths: Jaywalking, sleepwalking through regular season til tourney time

limitations: Bluejay and riverhawk combination cause identity issues

**Marquette Golden Eagles  

Strengths: America, freedom, Budweiser cans

Limitations: Eagle teams never deliver unless big Nick is involved

**Creighton Bluejays **

strengths: Blue coat looks sharp every day

Limitations: Canadian-ness

South Carolina Gamecocks

Strengths: fights with the chest out, very masculine bird

Limitations: they’ve come to snuff the rooster

**Florida Atlantic Owls **  

Strengths: Night vision, Hooting, Hooters, Hooting at Hooters in the night

Limitations: day games neutralize nocturnal advantage

Oregon Ducks

strengths: V formation. Quacking. Not as annoying as geese

limitations: southern migration, breadcrumb dependance

Morehead State Eagles

Strengths: simultaneous dive bomb

Limitations:

St Peter’s Peacocks

Strengths: confident in fanning out its extravagant feathers

Limitations: Streaming Platform everyone’s favorite to rip on

Wagner Seahawks

Strengths: Willingness to fly over the sea opens up food opportunities

Limitations: famous seattle seahawk Bobby Wagner no affiliation with this team

Group 5: LAND & SEA **(8)

**Iowa State Cyclones **

Strengths: Baby Bash and T-Pain song still slaps

Limitations: Erratic, prone to emotional spirals

**Alabama Crimson Tide **

Strengths: basketball paying as much as football for once.

Limitations: Fans used all their prayers to get into the football playoff

Florida Gators

Strengths: river king of the jungle is all muscle with a ferocious bite

Limitations: the medulla oblongata

**TCU Horned Frogs **

Strengths: hypnotoad mating patterns, living under rocks with a nice buzz

Limitations: crossing street traffic

Texas Tech Red Raiders, Colgate Raiders

Strengths: Pillaging on the sea, cannon use

Limitations: Desired target of sea police investigations

Long Beach State Beach

Strengths: And what a great job you do at beach!

Limitations: Fish are friends, not food. Sharkbait ooh ha ha.

Group 6: FOLKLORE & MYTHOLOGY (9)

**Tennessee Volunteers   **

Strengths: community service, unpaid internships, following the NCAA rules

Limitations: Rent payments, Ramen dependance

**Duke Blue Devils  **

Strengths: Coach K still pulling NCAA Basketball strings

Limitation: Filipowski the new trip guy

**Michigan State Spartans **

Strengths: keto diet, angry disposition well suited for current era

Limitations: Little war / life balance

**San Diego State Aztecs **

Strengths: calendar making, predictions

Limitations: Cortez the killer still serving that life sentence

UNC Tar Heels

strengths: slowing military opponents through innovative trench warfare

limitations: Civil War explanation of Tar Heel sounds like old man nonsense

UAB Blazers

Strengths: hanging with Kaleesi and Jon Snow, burning down Kings Landing

Limitations: falling in love with Donkey

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers

Strengths: pickin a banjo in an old timey string band

Limitations: SAT scores, well water quality

Group 7: INTIMIDATING HUMANS (8)

**Purdue Boilermakers   **

strengths: Resume building skill-set once brought steady employment

limitations: automation rendered them obsolete

**Illinois Fighting Illini **

Strengths: Don’t mess with Chief Sitting Cow at The Lodge

Limitations: Limited support from namesake tribes

**St Mary’s Gaels  

Strengths: soda bread, ripping the lyre and celtic flute solos

Limitations: Gaelic language still banned from EU meetings

Dayton Flyers

strengths: flying, airplanes, rocket ships

limitations: fuel prices, exploration costs, failed prototypes still in ocean off Florida coast

**Nebraska Cornhuskers **!

strengths: its corn!

limitations: demand coming from high fructose corn syrup, ethanol, and moonshine

Stetson Hatters (16)**

strengths: leather, bucket, snapback versatility

limitations: first time in tourney and out of alice in wonderland

GROUP 8: FARMERS AND FARM BEASTS (5)

**Texas Longhorns **

Strengths: grass-fed winners that use giant head to moo and say hook em

Limitations: cow-tipping, late night cattle theft

Texas A&M, Utah State Aggies

Strengths: tending to the land, hoping for a fertile spring

Limitations: network connectivity issues

Boise State Broncos

Strengths: Statue of Liberty, blue turf, Kellen Moore

Limitations: their Denver counterpart’s Russell Wilson dumpster fire bad for the brand

McNeese State Cowboys

Strengths: Yellowstone popularity bump after years of Kid Rock songs

Limitations: Dallas counterparts set back the brand

**Longwood Lancers **    !

Strengths: Jousting, neighing, prancing

Limitations: Steeplechase, stud fees