Elderly Flacco Under Center on a Third Down

Baltimore, MD – Third track as part of Jacktus Cactus December 2017 release “The Parent’s Basement Tapes” found new life in 2023 as the new Cleveland Browns quarterback Joe Flacco returned to prominence.

Flacco went from his couch in Audobon, New Jersey to 4-1 in the regular season with a nice bonus playoff loss. The grizzly father of five threw for over 1,600 yards and 13 touchdowns on the way to winning comeback player of the year.

At the time of recording, Jacktus Cactus was fully aware of Flacco’s fall from 2013-2015 greatness. “Many said the Super Bowl, the fame, the Pizza Hut commercials changed Joe,” said Cactus, “the weight of expectations had him lost on third down. After all the punts, all we could do was write about it.”

Jacktus Cactus – Elderly Flacco Under Center on a 3rd Down

Flacco’s numbers certainly dipped in 2017 before hip, back and knee injuries had him on the bench and out of town in favor of Lamar.

Some say he took the lyrics of Elderly Flacco Under Center too hard. As a Jet in 2022 his kids famously told him he sucked.

And yet, Flacco perservered.

He’s a free agent entering 2024 hoping to resign with Cleveland or another team in need of an inspiring fan favorite at QB. Fans forget how easy to root for he is. A cross between Shane Falco and Bert from Sesame Street, Flacco is the everyman that your deranged sports town needs. He appeals to the blue collar miner as much as your insurance hack neighbor.

Cousin Ronnie knows what I’m talking about.

Could Flacco’s come back spell a sequel for the Cactus song?

“We’ve always gone as far as Flacco has taken us,” said Cactus. “He’s a guy who can take advantage of the moment. Time for us to do the same.”

-Hack Crowens